Warning. You must avoid talking to anyone named Jane for the next 25 days. Otherwise, you will lose your job. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are cheap. Easter. Ok, am I going to be able to mention rabbits and eggs without you reaching for the lube? Horrorscopes by Dacques Viker

The Apple iPhone is the best cell phone ever. The web apps for Safari include messaging, blogs, forums, travel, online games, new, social networking like iRovr, Facebook and MySpace. The iPhone accessories, wallpapers, ringtones, button themes and widgets allow you to personalize your iPhone. Normal horoscopes tell you what you want to hear. They are not very accurate. Horrorscopes tell you what you don't want to hear. Unfortuneately, they are just as accurate.